Swift Death

Remember when I said it was my goal to post three times a week? Well that failed masterfully. I have no excuse. … I take that back, I have plenty of excuses, but I won’t bore you by relaying them. I’ll just say this probably won’t be the last time I miss that mark. 

I have good intentions, I mean I think most of us do. Life has a way of taking those intentions, and throwing everything its’ got at you to effectively stop the fulfillment of them. In the end, I’ll be real with you. Being able to cook and have food, clean and clothe my child, and keep my house at least at the minimum level of decency- is what I care about most. Anything else is just icing on top- like this post. 

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Evening Adventures 

As I’ve stated previously, I am a mother to a four year-old little girl. A charismatic, sassy, daring, four year-old little girl. She tries me, more so than any human being I’ve ever encountered- and I can only blame one person of course. No, not myself. I take credit for the sweet, adorable, charming parts. The rest I just blame on my husband. That’s the deal. I spent 42 weeks creating her, I can be blamed for nothing. 

Having a child is like living with this insane miniature being. They have no qualms. About anything. They’re rarely embarressed, and therefore embarrassing you constantly. Defitniely one of the less wonderful aspects of parenting, in my opinion. Take tonight for instance, while drawing a bath for my daughter she stripped down (to be fair, we adhere to the rule of no clothing in the bath) and began to “cha cha”. 😐 

There’s a moment in every parents life (okay a plethora of moments) where your children will do something that will make you wonder, ‘where in the hell did they get that from?’ The answer is almost always: Auntie. In this particular case my daughter decided to re-enact some moves from a dance party sesh with my sister. 🙄 

My response of course is to try and ignore (after the initial facial expression of surprise) and to pour myself a mimosa-  because clearly someone had sugar, and it’s going to be one of those nights. 

Here We Go

This is my attempt at re-entering the blogasphere. It’s something I’ve really missed doing, and though I’ve tried to keep it up, I think the last time I did a sufficient job was before my now four year-old daughter turned one. Needless to say, I obviously haven’t kept up that well. Moving forward with this blog it is my goal to squeeze in at least three posts a week. 🤞🏻Even now I’m squeezing this in while getting ready for work- meaning I may miss my morning Starbucks. (but feeling fulfilled is more important than the effects of coffee… right?)

I’ve spent the last three days cleaning and cooking (be aware I like to cook, the cleaning is a neccassary evil, and this was not against my will). These things are on the same level of neglect my blogging has been on, so they are part of my attempt to be a better me. I’ve just jumped back into these things as well, and it’s hard not to be discouraged looking around this morning and wondering what the actual hell happened to all my work. I cleaned! I cooked! I swear! (Figuratively and literally 🙄) My daughter has managed to bring out every single toy I had put into her room and arrange them very Jackson Pollock style across my living room. 😐 Meanwhile, my husband came home in the hours before sunrise and ate half the food I had cooked. All that work and this is what I have to show for it, a fridge near empty again and a living room turned child’s playroom.

In about 20 minutes (god I hope I don’t take much longer) I’ll be out the door and on my way to work. Hopefully I’ll remember to bring my lunch with me today, I mean I did spend the last three days cooking. Who will believe me if I hit the nearest Wendy’s for lunch? In the car I’ll say a silent prayer that I won’t have to assist any toddults (adults that act like toddlers. I’m trademarking that, don’t get any ideas), and that today will finally be the day I win the lottery and can tell people what I really think. (This never comes to pass, but I remain stubbornly hopeful- according to my husband.) Wish me luck anyway.

I’m just dipping my toes back into this blogging pool so hang with me guys, I have faith I can do this. If you all enjoy sarcasm as much as I do, follow away. If sarcasm offends you, well then I just resend this entire post (said sarcastically, sorry I can’t help it). I know that this will be much more work than pouring a glass of my favorite wine, but I’m hoping the cathartic benefit is more long term than the time it takes to finish a bottle. 😉